On a cool spring morning during the month of
April 2004 the singing and chatter of a nearby Mocking Bird awakened me from an
apparent light sleep. Sliding from beneath the covers still in a dreamlike
state, I gathered a few crucial items of clothing and headed toward the kitchen
to prepare a fresh pot of 8 O’clock Columbian coffee. While grinding the beans,
the thermos-type coffee pot was being filled with filtered water from the
Culligan under the counter dual element filters.
While the coffee was brewing, I decided to
get a sandwich baggie out from the work station/bar island cabinet to store some
archery arrow feathers later in the morning. While probing around in the
cabinet, much to my surprise an albino cool to the touch tentacle fell onto my
right hand. Not having a cup of Java yet, my cognitive process and psycho motor
skills were still in LaLaLand….my feet wanted to move but I was squatted down on
one knee and my right hand rocketed out of the cabinet and would have exited the
kitchen but it was still attached to my arm and body which was wanting to move
but the awkward position would not allow it to happen. If you must go ahead and
grin!
It took a few moments; maybe more to figure
out what this “thing” was that had attempted to grab my hand/arm. After careful
examination, I found that a new type of plant/animal was created. It had the
tentacles of an albino octopus and the body of a Idaho white potato. How the
two got together might be a mystery. Was it the pheromones, hormones, estrogen
or testosterone or a natural occurrence of nature such as oxygen, temperature,
humidity and light or lack of light?
I have seen some of the Potatopus’s
offspring in past years but those in the cabinet this morning have to be the
Parents or Grand Parents because apparently one package of the potatoes is the
male and the other is the female. Since this is a new species, there is no
documentation or reference material within my reach to determine the sex and age
of them.
I took them out side for a photo session and
will allow them to continue to reproduce in the back yard and hopefully by
spring’s end, there will be some little Potatopusses all over the back
yard/field..
Attached is a pix of Mr. And Mrs. Potatopus
for you to view.

Short story by William McKnight Porter,
April 17, 2004.